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www.newsindiatimes.com – that’s all you need to know News India Times (November 1, 2025 - November 7, 2025) November 7, 2025 26 Lifestyle Ask Sahaj: We Both Cheated. Now What? D ear Sahaj: Roughly seven months ago, my rela- tionship hit a significant rough patch. There was cheating from both parties, and since then we have been working on things and it’s been going fairly smoothly. However, she’s been pushing me away recently, and she’s been very hot and cold. She went through my phone and read private conversations with friends I had during our rough patch, when I was on the fence with what to do with our relationship. I understand that some of what she read upset her. She said she doesn’t see our relationship as a priority anymore and is focusing solely on herself. I support her wanting to focus on herself and grow, and I’m trying to find a way to understand and be empathetic toward her. I love her, but I don’t understand where she’s at with ev- erything at times. She says she loves me and she’s happy she’s with me, but her behavior doesn’t feel like it. What can I do? – Ruptured Relationship Ruptured Relationship: I don’t know what you two have done to repair the trust that is broken from your mutual infidelity, nor do I have information about the history of your relationship. Cheating changes the level of intimacy between two people, and takes a toll on self-esteem and mental health. Cheating can sometimes be a product of built-up resentment that needs to be surfaced, acknowledged and addressed to facilitate healing. More than that, the impact cheating has doesn’t get canceled out when both people in a relationship do it. If anything, it further com- plicates the issues that need to be confronted to mini- mize resentment and repair what’s broken. Most importantly, you will need to take some time to figure things out for yourself. It’s not clear what you want from your question. You mention that you want to under- stand where your partner stands, and yes, you love her, but you don’t say how you want things to work out. What, if anything, has changed for you since the rough patch and infidelity seven months ago? I suggest you reflect on how willing you are to heal the hurt and betrayal that is lingering in your relationship, or if you are just hoping to avoid conflict and keep the peace. Your partner told you you’re no longer a priority. This may be because she feels the need to protect herself from getting hurt by you again, or maybe she’s trying to move on altogether. She also looked through your phone, so it’s clear she still doesn’t trust you and is navigating her own pain. You both need clarity on what you want and need from this relationship, now. The relationship will need to feel different for you both to truly move forward together, so I encourage you to try to explicitly address the following with your partner: What does safety and trust look like to each of you? How do you know you have forgiven each other, and how will you know you have been forgiven by the other? To truly repair what was broken, there needs to be a mutual understanding and accountability for why things fell apart in the first place, how things will actually be dif- ferent and both of your roles in contributing to the emo- tional disconnection that led to infidelity. This will require your partner to also be invested in working through these issues with you; regardless of how much you want things to work out, you won’t be able to fix it alone. You’ll have to give room and time for mutual healing to occur, while understanding that you both may not be af- fected by the infidelity in the same way. If there’s a desire from both parties to move forward and you still feel stuck, couples counseling is always an option. Remember that two things can be true at the same time. You can each feel hurt, and you shouldn’t be continuing to hurt or punish each other. You can each feel guilty, and you each need standards for what you’ll accept or need in the relationship. You can both be sorry and want to fix things, and you’ll need time and honesty to truly repair what was ruptured. Sahaj Kaur Kohli is a thera- pist and the creator of Brown Girl Therapy. -TheWashington Post By Sahaj Kaur Kohli PHOTO:@sahajkaurkohli.com When To Introduce Kids To Peanuts To Help Avoid Allergies, According To Experts F eeding peanut products to infants was connected with a 43 percent lower association with develop- ing peanut allergies, according to a study published recently in the journal Pediatrics. Researchers analyzed medical records of about 120,000 children younger than 3, comparing cohorts of children before and after varying guidelines and recom- mendations that shifted. The findings come nearly a decade after guidelines began encouraging parents and caregivers to introduce peanut-containing foods earlier in babies’ diets. For decades, medical experts had recommended waiting until children were 3 years old to introduce peanuts. But that started to shift after the 2015 Learn- ing Early About Peanut Allergy study, which showed that letting children as young as 4 months try peanuts earlier reduced the risk of developing allergies. “This monumental public health effort in food aller- gies appears to be having an effect,” said David Hill, an attending allergist at the Children’s Hospital of Phila- delphia and senior author of the study. “For every 300 children with food allergies, at least one is being spared from developing a peanut allergy.” About 5.8 percent of children in the United States had a food allergy according to 2021 data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. And although this recent study is encouraging, Hill said, he does not want parents of children with food aller- gies – whether they introduced allergens early or not – to feel “left behind”; many experts have said allergens and their causes still warrant further investigation. Here’s what experts say about when to let your children try peanuts and how to introduce other potential aller- gens into their diets. WHEN AND HOW SHOULD I INTRODUCE PEANUTS TO MY CHIL- DREN? The National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Dis- eases advises parents to start with a diluted and small amount of peanut-containing food, then wait 10 minutes to watch for an allergic reaction. (Some medical providers recommend options such as peanut butter thinned with breast milk or formula or pureed into a food your child already eats, or a puffed corn snack made with peanuts called Bamba.) Pediatricians also say infants should be meeting developmental milestones before the introduction of an allergen, including being able to hold their head up and having good oral motor control. “If they’re developmentally ready, that’s the time to start introducing allergenic foods like peanuts,” said Zachary Rubin, a pediatric allergist in the western sub- urbs of Chicago. Babies with eczema have a higher risk of developing a food allergy, so some may benefit from earlier introduc- tion under the guidance of a pediatrician. “The way I like to describe it to families is that the im- mune system is plasticky early on, and then it hardens,” said Rubin. “If you have a baby that’s at risk of developing a food allergy, and you intervene earlier, you may be able to prevent the food allergy from developing, but it’s not 100 percent.” Experts say that when a child has food allergies, there is not only a physical toll but a mental one. Studies have found that children with food allergies are more likely to have anxiety and reduced quality of life compared with their peers who do not have allergies. “Children can’t be carefree, and for parents it’s very stressful because allergies influence where families can go: from restaurants to sporting events to social activi- ties,” said Ruchi Gupta, director of the Center for Food Allergy and Asthma Research at Northwestern University, who also serves on the board of the American Academy of Pediatrics Section on Allergy and Immunology. WHAT SYMPTOMS INDICATE AN ALLERGIC REACTION? Most infants will not have a reaction the first time they try peanut products or any other allergens, experts say. The most common symptoms are hives, redness or a rash that appears within minutes of eating the product. Some babies may vomit or appear uncomfortable. A mild reaction often involves a few scattered hives or mild stomach pain that resolves quickly. Severe reactions are less common but require immedi- ate attention. Parents should call 911 if a child has trouble breathing, persistent coughing or swelling of the tongue, or if the infant turns pale or blue. “If you’re scared and you feel like you can’t manage it at home, don’t hesitate to call,” said Sara Anvari, director of clinical trials and translational research in the Food Al- lergy Program at Texas Children’s Hospital in Houston. For mild symptoms, an antihistamine such as diphen- hydramine or cetirizine – commonly known by the brand names Benadryl and Zyrtec – may help relieve hives or itching, but parents should consult with their pediatri- cians. And if more than one part of the body is affected, such as the skin and the respiratory or gastrointestinal system, doctors consider it a severe reaction and recommend using epi- nephrine if available and seek- ing out emergency care. Sabrina Malhi is a National health-care reporter covering infant and maternal health. -TheWashington Post By Sabrina Malhi PHOTO:@sahajkaurkohli.com