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www.newsindiatimes.com – that’s all you need to know . i i i . – t ’ a l y n t k Ask Sahaj: What Happens If His Family Doesn’t Accept She’s 20 Years Older? D ear Sahaj: I am an American woman in my early 50s. While working in South India, I met a man in his early 30s and we fell in love. However, he is from a small village; though he is college educat- ed, very liberal and living in a big city, his entire family is still in their small village. They are very conser- vative, and he did not want to introduce me to his family. I had to return to the U.S., and now we are really strug- gling with the future. He says that I am close to his moth- er’s age and his family would be ostracized in their village if people found out. He loves me but he does not know how to deal with the potential consequence of subjecting his parents to public judgment and criticism. According to him, no one would talk to his family because age gap relationships with older females are so taboo. He is a very kindhearted man, and I think he would feel guilty forever if his parents suffered on his account. I don’t want to pressure him; is there any way to make a relationship like this work? - Age Gap Age Gap: I know this doesn’t feel fair. Love should be celebrated, and yet in many families, regardless of back- ground, there are often expectations and norms around who you should love and who you shouldn’t. In India, reputation and social standing are often deeply communal. A marriage is not seen as a private decision between two adults the same way it is here in theWest. Instead, it is understood as something that reflects on, and impacts, the entire family. It’s important to note that ostracization in this context can then mean social isolation, exclusion from rituals and resources, and long-term damage to family standing - not just a mere loss of friends or gossip. Not to mention that the added layer of your age gap may challenge the gendered hierarchy norms of his culture and village, reinforcing the consequences. I don’t doubt that you love each other, and it sounds like this man feels torn between loving you - and doing right by you as a partner - and loving his parents and en- suring their safety and security in their home and village. That’s an incredibly difficult and painful position to be in. Sure, “Can this work?” is a good question. But a better question for right now might be: What would “working” actually look like, and who would have to absorb the con- sequences? This then becomes a bigger conversation that requires both of you to be honest about three things. First, has he truly accepted what the social fallout could be, and does he speak about it as a choice he is willing to make? It’s important for him to fully internalize that he does have choices here. He could talk to his family privately about your relationship and gauge their actual response rather than only anticipating it. He could ex- plore whether distance - geographic or social - might shift the intensity of the fallout. He could seek out allies within his extended family who might be more open-minded. Only he can decide what (if anything!) he is really willing to do here and whether he is prepared to redefine himself in his family system and grieve what that looks like. His sense of agency (or lack thereof) can also provide you with clarity. Second, if this relationship meant you would never be fully integrated into his family or community, would that be something you could truly live with? You may be will- ing to endure whatever comes because you love him, but you also have to ask yourself if you want a love that even asks you to. And finally, are you both aligned on other factors like children, long-term residence, finances, immigration, caregiving in old age and family aging? Since there is a life-stage gap here, you will need to have explicit conver- sations about the future as if the relationship will work to ensure you’re both on the same page if his family no longer becomes a barrier. It’s clear you have empathy, and you understand what is at stake. But you cannot rescue someone from guilt, nor can you make a decision for him that he must live with internally for the rest of his life. If he ultimately chooses you, that choice has to be anchored in agency - not secrecy, not fantasy and not in the hope that things will “work themselves out.” As he figures this out, you can only take the time to decide for your- self how long you are willing to stay in this uncertainty. Good luck!. Sahaj Kaur Kohli is a thera- pist and the creator of Brown Girl Therapy. -TheWashington Post By Sahaj Kaur Kohli PHOTO:@sahajkaurkohli.com Sports Cricket-Samson Credits Years Of Hard Work After Powering India Into T20 World Cup Final I ndia opener Sanju Samson said his knock against England on Thursday was the product of years of quiet work and difficult stretches, adding that the job remained unfinished as India look to secure back-to- back Twenty20World Cup titles. Samson’s 89 anchored India’s total of 253-7 and laid the foundation for a tense seven-run semi-final win at theWankhede Stadium. England, carried by Jacob Bethell’s outstanding hundred, fell just short in one of the closest matches of the tournament. “I have been trying for a few years to do something like this for my country… a lot of patience, inner work, training and practice,” Samson told reporters after India set up a final showdown with New Zealand. “Definitely I feel grateful, but we have one more step to go. If we do that, then I think all the work, everything was worth it.” Samson admitted the innings was shaped by the momentum he carried from his unbeaten 97 againstWest Indies in the previous match. “The last innings definitely played a good role today. I knew I was timing the ball well and taking good deci- sions. If you’re in form, you should definitely contribute again,” he said. Samson had a tough 2025 and then struggled during the five-match T20 international series against New Zea- land earlier in the year but he said the period prompted a reset in both technique and mindset. “I was trying a bit too much in the New Zealand series. I wanted to make an impact and get into the 11 of the World Cup here,” he said. “Even the best in the world actually struggle to score runs in this format. I had to respect the game and come back to my basics.” England captain Harry Brook closed the tournament on a positive note, saying his side could leave the tourna- ment proud despite the narrow loss. “Disappointed, but extremely proud. Couldn’t ask for much more as a captain,” Brook said. “We’ve had an amazing campaign, and I said the other day that we’re never out of games. That was proven again tonight. We were in the game all the way until the last over.” Brook hailed Bethell’s 105 off 48 balls, an innings fea- turing eight fours and seven sixes, that steadied England after early blows and kept their chase alive. “He’s a phenomenal player. In a high-pressure situa- tion against India on their home turf… the way he played was just phenomenal,” the 27-year-old Brook said. “He’s been unbelievable. He’s going to have a hell of a career with England, and I’m looking forward to hope- fully spending a lot of time with him in the future.” Brook also accepted England’s missed chances in the field, including dropping Samson on 15 in the third over. “Catches win matches, don’t they? Unfortunately it didn’t stay in my hands,” he said, adding that execution lapses against India’s power-hitters proved costly. The final will take place on Sunday. -R euters PHOTO:REUTERS/FRANCIS MASCARENHAS CC Men’s T20 World Cup 2026 – Semi Final – India v England – Wankhede Stadium, Mumbai, India – March 5, 2026 India’s Sanju Samson in action. By Suramya Kaushik News India Times (March 7, 2026 - March 13, 2026) March 13, 2026 12 Lifestyle